


I Fought the War

by MrProphet



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 23:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10707549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet





	I Fought the War

Yesterday, Brian told Wensleydale that Emma Gilcuddy would never even touch him with a stick and Wensley gave Brian a fat lip while Emma Gilcuddy watched and smiled. I wanted to be sick.

I remembered that smile, see. I remembered War.

*

I think it surprised the boys that War was a woman, but it makes sense, ‘cause like she said, boys  _love_  war. If I hadn’t been there, they would have fallen for it and… well, it would all have been over. Adam joked at the time that letting Brian take on War would have been like letting me take on Famine, but I don’t think me quietly dropping a few pounds compares to Wensleydale setting off a couple of thermonuclear warheads ‘just to see what would happen’.

You know, I can just hear him say it. ‘I just wondered what would happen if…’ Then asking Adam to make it better.

I hate it when they do that; turn to him with that look which says ‘turn back the clock’, ‘make the bad stuff go away’. I hate it because it’s pathetic and ‘cause I know he wants to and I think he could, but he knows he mustn’t and I hate it because that hurts him and I don’t want him hurt. And I hate it because I want to do it too, but I can’t. I can’t turn to him, because when they do it it’s because they’re chums, but if I did it, it would be because I’m a girly and I luuurve him and yeah, so I do, but so do they, they just won’t admit it.

Honestly. Boys.

And they’ll fight over anything. Not just girls, anything at all. Some girls get good at making them fight and think that makes them the bee’s knees, but it really isn’t difficult. I could do it. I could do it well, ‘cause I remember now and for the longest second in the world I  _was_  War; the walking, talking model of the cause worth dying for.

Make a few boys give each other a few black eyes? I could show these little girls what for, I really could. I felt it when I touched that power and do you know? I loved it. That was the worst part about taking her power and standing in her place; I felt all the damage I could do and I  _loved_  it.

Just as I scattered ‘her’ back into the minds of men (no, not humanity, men; haven’t I made that point already), there was a moment when I didn’t need anyone. I knew that I could be the one who pulled the strings and made the others fight over me. I felt it and I loved it, which isn’t something I ever wanted to know about myself.

So I just watch. I watch the other girls turning into petty little Wars and I know that I could join in but I don’t, ‘cause I know that sometimes you have to fight, like we did, but it’s never  _worth_  it; even if it’s better than the alternative. 

I saw war in all its beauty and its horror and do you know? I think even War hated herself a little.

And sometimes, I hate myself; sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I want to forget again, but I can’t. And yes, I want to ask Adam to make it better. He’s so much better than the rest of us, so much stronger; I know he could take away the hurt but…

But I can’t do it, because then no-one would remember and there’d be no-one to look after him.

So I guess I have to make it better myself. I’m going to help  _him_  and he needs it, because I remember what happened to me, but he remembers  _everything_. I’m going to look after him and do you know? I think one day he might actually ask me to make things better.  
That would be nice, ‘cause War  _never_  makes things better, so if I can then I’ll know that ‘though War is a part of me now, I’m not War.  
I’m Pepper. I’m one of the Them.


End file.
